Posts Tagged ‘Thoughts’


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Typing begins
Letters and Words start to Flow
(or do they?)
But where do they come from?
And where do they go?
Who is there to curate this steady stream
of nonsense and soliloquy?
Impassioned yet Disillusioned
Stare at the flat tyre of Hope
50 miles from home
Stricken on some desolate highway
Hmm….maybe the “Bates Motel” rest stop
15 miles back
will have a phone I can use?!
I used to think that a bag on my back
and the great outdoors
was all I’d need
Only the bag was always too heavy
And I never got out much anyway
Turtling with my life
“Slow and steady wins the race”
Words echo and reverberate around
the inside of my dusty cranium
I didn’t even know there was a race
But perhaps there was
…And perhaps I was there at the start
Only I got shot by the starter’s pistol…
Either way this empty shell ain’t going anywhere
And where to go anyhow?!
Like a slow growing acorn in a Forrest of Dawn Redwoods
Everything rushes to find and occupy
any and all available space
Choked off by the rapid growing surroundings
And overtaken by the high-speed, 24/7
Life-draining, Drone-driven society
Things never did quite take root for me
On ever shifting sands
Soil stripped bare of nutrients
In the fight to hammer out
A barely adequate existence
Straining beyond breaking point
Adorned with everything greedy little paws can set upon
All of life’s “Jewelery and Make-up”
Make you a pretty little prostitute
So shake your “money maker” on the street corner
You know the one
At the crossroads where you have to choose
between right and wrong
So you show some thigh
and pout your lips
and flutter your eyelashes at every passing ‘opportunity’
Go ahead
See if you can get a ‘good’ price for your soul
As everything that’s good inside you withers and dies
And all in the pursuit of something
Nothing more than
A word which to me describes the colour of boredom
A kind of middling brown
About the same colour as all the shit that’s floating around
Because this world filled up with it far too quickly
And it seems that no-one ever learned to flush
“What’s the point?” – some say
Others – “Why not?!”
“Where did this all start?”
“When will it ever stop?”
I have some minor talents, sure
Just don’t ask me to name them
And I don’t seek abject fame or glory
Just something nice to frame them
But when every effort gets blown away
You need to stop and take a look around
If you’re in the middle of a storm
Fair enough, you’ll have to try to ride it out
But when I looked all I thought was
“Hey, who’s that guy with the shotgun?”
And another thing…
Whoever it was who said:
“You’re not a victim of circumstance,
Just of you’re own decisions”

Would obviously have no sympathy for some like Anne Frank
Or the thousands of starving children in Africa
…given that it was clearly their own stupid fault
for choosing to live there…
But that’s just me
or simply agonist
If I can provoke some kind of response I will
For better or worse
I’ll tell what’s motivational
Absolutely nothing
— (or is that ‘what war is good for’?!)
But do you know why people say
“you have to play the cards your dealt”?
Because if they convince everyone
that Life is a Game (like Poker)
…Where success is based upon your ability
to lie, cheat and steal
All whilst remaining calm
looking at someone
and smiling to their face
whilst you stick
a knife in their back…
Then they can pretty much do what they like
And not have to feel guilty
I mean what a way to ensure
the total collapse of
decent, civilised and moralistic values
Pitch everyone in this world against one another
Battle Roayal
The winner is the one left standing at the end
Only no-one is allowed get off the island alive!!
Why don’t we teach kids this in schools huh?
Just tell them the truth?!
Because some sick bastard(s) realised
That it’s even more fun to see
How long it takes the dumb shits
To figure it out
…13 years old, standing there
lunch box in one hand
intestines from the knife wound across their stomach in the other
“I just wanted to be friends…”
They manage to whimper before dropping to their knees and keeling over…

“Too far!” – you say

Well yes okay, perhaps this rant has plummeted
To some depraved and desperate levels of despair
When really all it was meant as
Was a way to clear the air
From all of this smoke around me
So that perhaps again I may
And see the light
and the beauty of the Natural World
around me
And this was only meant to be
A Stream of Consciousness” experiment
But I think
…like a fisherman looking out to sea,
seeing several Dark and OmminousTM patches…
That it serves as a warning
To proceed with Caution
And to strongly reconsider
whether it is wise or not
To go Sailing at all?!
Better instead
To ‘Turtle’ in bed…
Let the pangs of the fantasy of action
and the hunger for satisfaction
fade and subside
Yes they may rise again soon
and this whole crazy cycle
can begin again anew
And perhaps again
provoke you to write (or do)
something else
which means nothing
And the pathetic,
lustful longing for significance
can be crushed once more
by the heavy, meaty boot
of this thing called “REALITY”

So watch the skies
and watch this space
as I consider that
perhaps it is a good thing
that I will see my therapist again,

.: Some love for Shudders :.

That lustful, beckoning call
That easy trip and fall
Rushing forward to meet the eternal river
Arms outstretched ready to embrace it with love
Fall upwards my dear
And as you hit the surface
You break through in to clear, bright, clean air
Your feet landing softly on warm, green grass
By the riverside of a beautiful meadow
The sunshine bright and strong but not over-bearing
In the distance the sound of children laughing, playing
And you know
That you could just lay down
Right hear in the sunny meadow
And doze for hours
In total, peaceful comfort.
No thoughts or worries to realize
Just that inner happiness that feels
Like every cell in your body
Is hugging
Every other cell in your body.
Turn even bad thoughts in to love
And float
Soul with body
Above it all
And breathe deep
Breath easy
Be free

.: A thought on Flowers by the Sea? :.

Your words are nourishment
As are the water and sunlight to the flower
The picture equally so
Raises hopes
Although we consume beauty
We do not devour
We treasure this
As a gift
With thanks
As you give off

.: Talking to Fairytale Epidemic about “278 ~ Male Friends :.

Comment Disclaimer: Cynical viewpoints may be expressed!

I’m not sure where to start so I’ll just jump right in, neck deep…

Firstly: If you’re a beautiful young woman, which I think it’s fair to say (without sounding too much like a creep) you are, then more often than not guys will have interests in you that you simply will not share / reciprocate. This (potentially) leaves you in the rather unfortunate situation that the vast majority of men you encounter will be at best a flattering non-interest and at worst a pestering nuisance.

The trick I suppose is finding a way to deal with all of the crap that floats your way in such a way as to dismiss it and let it carry on right past you, whilst still being able to spot the rare odd ‘gem’ that might otherwise be lost in the sea of dull rocks.

The counter-point to this is that some things that might look like dull rocks on the outside have rare and precious gems inside them, others may simply need a polish.

The problem as I see it is that in todays self-centered, consumeristic, ‘disposable’ lifestyles where everything is throw away, many (perhaps the majority) of people see ‘love’ this way too. Since many people never really know what true love is they simply learn to want to find comfort and company so as to not be alone. Sadly of course too much these days ‘comfort’ and/or ‘company’ is taken to simply be the physical side of things, and in this way relationships become shallow, meaningless acts of self satisfying lust and loathing which when they break or end we simply replace with a new one, like a light bulb that has blown or an old toothbrush that has worn out.

Some people see it this way and they take a pro-active role in this lifestyle, actively throwing away old for new relationships like they would shop for clothes or something. Others merely do this on a purely functional level – when one relationship breaks or ends then they try to find a new one. The former typically being the ‘dumper’ and the latter typically the ‘dumpee’.

BUT (and we’re talking J-Lo x Beyonce = One very BIG but!) for someone who either has experienced true love and wants to again, or even someone still holding out for that first “OMG WOW”, you have to learn to be very patient and very self sufficient in terms of maintaining yourself, your own happiness and contentment in life. — My theory is “You have to be happy in yourself before you can be happy with someone else”! — So this is the challenge and struggle, to NOT give up and slip in to the same shallow practices as those around us but to maintain ourselves and maintain our hope and to keep ourselves open to new people and possibilities despite all the other crap we may get drifting in to and out of our lives.

I do think that men and women CAN be ‘just friends’ but that this is much less common than the situation(s) where at least one of the parties involved wants things to be more. Really both people have to be stable and happy in themselves and not to be looking for anything more than friendship. Of course sometimes things develop in to more over time, but then this is a natural process and creates (in my view) a better and more stable relationship (potentially). Truthfully good friendships can also help us to maintain ourselves in the absence of a romantic relationship, although they have to be ‘good’ friendships too. For me at least in all forms of relationship I seek an open and honest connection with no pretexts or pretenses, sadly these days even finding a GOOD and genuine friend seems just as hard as finding love.

Also — my apologies, I think this ‘comment’ is actually longer than your post. Oh well, thanks for letting me share my thoughts/feelings

This is a response to and/or thoughts provoked by huascarmedina in his recent poem If Only My Hands Were Free.

I think many of us struggle to silence the world so that we can find peace, or at least to quiet it enough that we may hear ourselves think. Other people it seems are quite capable of living while all of the worldly noise constantly surrounds them. I wonder if they are truly themselves or just echoes and reverberations of other lives going on around them, and as the sound waves from these lives crash and wash over them maybe they are swept out to sea, some perhaps drown in it.

We must steady ourselves against the tides of other people’s lives as they rip and pull at us, moods rising and falling with every ebb and flow. We must know when to stand fast and strong, and when (the going is in our favour) to strike out for the shoreline. Find our feet on dry land again and bask in the warmth of the sun, yet many never leave the sea-front and soon find themselves back in the water again. Are we playing and having fun? Or is there some darkness lying in wait for us, out there in the deep? Pulling at us with it’s thoughts, longing to hold us tight in it’s cold embrace and make our homes a watery grave.

I much prefer the good solid rock of a sturdy mountain beneath my feet (like a Goat), or the vast open expanse of grassy plains and sun-baked Savannah (like a Lion), or perhaps even the tree tops of a great forest or jungle (like an Eagle). All of which provide beautiful vistas so that I may see the world far and wide, 360°. Yet with my eyes closed I can smell the sea again, drawing nearer in this ever changing landscape, it is time to move on.